i got you fam

hey friend,

The other night The Hubs wasn't feeling his best. Which sucks for me, because I like to hold the monopoly on emotions. He's the epitome of an eternal optimist so it really throws me off my game when he's feeling blue. He didn't even want to watch NCIS. We went to bed early.

The next morning as he's putting his work boots on I ask him how's he's feeling. Without looking up he says, “I'm feeling one percent better.”

“Oh no,” I say, “that's it...just one percent?”

He pops up from tying his boot laces, flips his long light brown hair back, smiles his big The Hubs smile. “Well, it's one percent now, but in a bit it will be one percent more. And then later another one percent. One percent by one percent until it's 100 percent.”

I stare silently.

He smiles, kisses me on my left cheek then my right cheek, then my forehead, my nose and then my lips, “Sometimes you just need baby steps. Eventually all the baby steps add up to big change. Just take it one step at a time...one percent at a time and you'll be okay.”

I look at him in awe, silent for a moment, then I gently grab his shoulder, tip-toe to be at eye level and say, “That's the dumbest fucking bullshit I've ever heard.” And then I kicked him in the balls.

Okay, okay, calm down, I don't want to lose my only two subscribers...I didn't say or do that...

I love my husband. He's the absolute best. Way more likable than me on any given day.

But for someone like me, who is constantly over-analyzing, re-hashing every social encounter, always drowning in anxiety and constantly warding off depression, being with an eternal optimist is...well, exhausting quite frankly.

I give him a huge hug and he leaves for work.

Later...

It's 2pm and I haven't heard from one of my favorite friends yet. We usually text all day err'day (as the kids say....do the kids say that?)

Let's call her Friend, (because she and I haven't thought of anything more clever for her...yet.)

ME: bitch, proof of life.

FRIEND: alive...barely.

ME: haven't heard from you all day...

FRIEND: I had a massive mental breakdown this morning. I fell to the floor in my kitchen and cried for hours....then I put a wet cloth on my eyes and napped.

ME: PLEASE tell me you were wearing a huge pink robe or something similar when you fell to the ground...like in the movies.

FRIEND: I was wearing my fluffy Victoria's Secret robe.

ME: PERFECT!

FRIEND: Yeah, it did keep me warm on that cold kitchen floor.

ME: Did you put one hand up to your forehead as you collapsed?

FRIEND: NO. FUCK. I can't even fall apart right. I should have had you over to direct. But it all happened so fast.

ME: You feeling better now? Want me to tell you some cliché' bullshit? Everything happens for a reason?...Life is tough honey, but so are you?....All good things happen outside of your comfort zone?...The best is yet to come? Live, laugh, love?

ME (again): I can offer to pray for you? I think that's what decent people do?...They offer to pray and then they actually, like, really pray for you...I think I can try...for you my friend.

FRIEND: Life is just so hard right now. I think my hair is falling out from stress. I don't ever feel like doing anything. Everything is so overwhelming.

Silence.

ME: Hey listen, maybe you can just try one little thing...you know...to just feel one percent better today? Maybe one percent better than you are right now? And then maybe tomorrow one percent more?

You don't have to change everything at once, just baby step by baby step...until you're 100 percent again?

Later…

ME: You alive?

FRIEND: I got up and took a shower.

ME: How do you feel?

FRIEND: One percent better. *Wink emoji.

We are all just walking each other home....one meltdown at a time.

I got you fam. (As the kids say…do the kids say that?)

You meltdown today. I'll schedule mine when you're feeling better and together we'll be okay.

If you have been struggling, I hope that today you do something to feel one percent better...I hope you continue to feel one percent better every minute of every day....little by little until everything that is tearing you apart begins to heal...and when you fall to the floor in exhaustion and desperation...just know I'm praying for you...I really am...

Life is tough, honey, but so are you.
Everything happens for a reason.
All good things happen outside of your comfort zone.
The best is yet to come.
Live, laugh, love.

You can do anything.
I believe in you.
You are greatly loved.

Sincerely, Veronica Towns

ps. what is one little thing you can do today to make yourself one percent happier? let me know in the comments....hearing from you is my one percent...