So by now, we have proclaimed our biggest dreams to the world and we have taken bold action to getting started on our paths to true happiness. So everything is just perfect and we can relax as we bask in the glory of our bravery and our genius….
I lie awake in bed. Trying to be quiet so I don't wake my husband, or worse...the dogs. Tears stream down my face. I have so much shit on my mind I can't sleep. It is one of those nights when I can feel my heart beating in my head. And my head just aches from the misery of it all. My silent tears turn into silent sobs, if that makes any sense at all. I take a deep breath and wipe my aging face with my achy hands. And in the darkness, I stare at a ceiling I can barely see and pray to a God I have never seen.
I can't tell you how to raise your children, how to blow your guy, or how to perfect your casserole. But I can, with great confidence, tell you that everything in your life is going to be okay. And more than okay, everything is going to be fucking amazing. You are going to have to work for it. You are going to have to fight for it. But you can and will have the life you have always dreamed of.
"Breathe. It's just a bad day, not a bad life." -Unknown
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." -Robert H. Schuller
"Don't worry, everything is going to be amazing." -Unknown
Teronica Vowns woke up in the morning only to find that her eyes had been glued shut with a crust that had formed from her dry tears, sweat and self loathing. She crinkled her nose as she pried her eyes open, stumbled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. Her eyes were in no mood to cooperate and would only open a tiny bit. Her face was red and puffy. Her eyes stung and her hair was sticking out in all directions as if trying to escape her head. She washed up a bit and walked back into the small living room and tried to watch a bit of TV. After turning it on she realized it was set to some language she didn't understand. She tinkered with the buttons a bit and then let out a heavy sigh of despair. Stupid TV. Stupid nice landlord. Stupid New York.
You are beautiful and wonderful and perfect in every way. May this coming year be the year you finally accept yourself for all the awesomeness that you are. May this year be the year you finally love your love-handles and your frizzy hair and the way you cry at nothing at all just because you effing feel like crying. May this year be the year you stand up for yourself with grace and humility.