By the grace of God. Part 1

“So what brings you to Seminary, Hermana Veronica?” 

My advisor, professor of two of my classes and quite possibly the nicest human I have encountered to this day, asked me with the biggest smile that just radiated joy.

Usually this level of  enthusiasm and love of God would have sickened me. Maybe I didn't have the energy to hate him or maybe his kindness and faith was just too intoxicating to allow hate to breathe around him. 

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Go back to bed, Liz (Part One: Big dreams bring big fears)

I lie awake in bed. Trying to be quiet so I don't wake my husband, or worse...the dogs. Tears stream down my face. I have so much shit on my mind I can't sleep. It is one of those nights when I can feel my heart beating in my head. And my head just aches from the misery of it all. My silent tears turn into silent sobs, if that makes any sense at all. I take a deep breath and wipe my aging face with my achy hands. And in the darkness, I stare at a ceiling I can barely see and pray to a God I have never seen.

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Somewhere between a party & a prayer...

I can't tell you how to raise your children, how to blow your guy, or how to perfect your casserole. But I can, with great confidence, tell you that everything in your life is going to be okay. And more than okay, everything is going to be fucking amazing. You are going to have to work for it. You are going to have to fight for it. But you can and will have the life you have always dreamed of.


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Meanwhile, back in New York… (Part 2 of 3)

"Breathe. It's just a bad day, not a bad life." -Unknown

"Tough times don't last, tough people do." -Robert H. Schuller

"Don't worry, everything is going to be amazing." -Unknown

Teronica Vowns woke up in the morning only to find that her eyes had been glued shut with a crust that had formed from her dry tears, sweat and self loathing. She crinkled her nose as she pried her eyes open, stumbled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. Her eyes were in no mood to cooperate and would only open a tiny bit. Her face was red and puffy. Her eyes stung and her hair was sticking out in all directions as if trying to escape her head. She washed up a bit and walked back into the small living room and tried to watch a bit of TV. After turning it on she realized it was set to some language she didn't understand. She tinkered with the buttons a bit and then let out a heavy sigh of despair. Stupid TV. Stupid nice landlord. Stupid New York.

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...starring Teronica Vowns as herself (Part 1 of 3)

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions." -Augusten Burroughs

"Forgive yourself, you are not perfect. Show yourself grace, you are still learning. Show yourself patience, you are on a journey." -Unknown

"Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure." -Bob Bitchin

This story is about a friend of mine. She doesn't want her real name to be used so we are going to call her...
Teronica Vowns.

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You are brave.

“Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.” -John Wayne

“When darkness falls, we can curl up with fear or turn on more lights. Be Brave. Love Deeply. Shine Brighter.” -Livlane

“Say what you wanna say. And let the words fall out. Honestly I want to see you be BRAVE.” -Sara Barcilles

“This is your story. Be brave for yourself, be brave for your God, and be brave for the onlookers, the ones who will be inspired by you to inspire others.” -Annie Downs

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May this year be THE year.

Dear friend,

You are beautiful and wonderful and perfect in every way. May this coming year be the year you finally accept yourself for all the awesomeness that you are. May this year be the year you finally love your love-handles and your frizzy hair and the way you cry at nothing at all just because you effing feel like crying. May this year be the year you stand up for yourself with grace and humility.

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