“So what brings you to Seminary, Hermana Veronica?”
My advisor, professor of two of my classes and quite possibly the nicest human I have encountered to this day, asked me with the biggest smile that just radiated joy.
Usually this level of enthusiasm and love of God would have sickened me. Maybe I didn't have the energy to hate him or maybe his kindness and faith was just too intoxicating to allow hate to breathe around him.
So by now, we have proclaimed our biggest dreams to the world and we have taken bold action to getting started on our paths to true happiness. So everything is just perfect and we can relax as we bask in the glory of our bravery and our genius….
I lie awake in bed. Trying to be quiet so I don't wake my husband, or worse...the dogs. Tears stream down my face. I have so much shit on my mind I can't sleep. It is one of those nights when I can feel my heart beating in my head. And my head just aches from the misery of it all. My silent tears turn into silent sobs, if that makes any sense at all. I take a deep breath and wipe my aging face with my achy hands. And in the darkness, I stare at a ceiling I can barely see and pray to a God I have never seen.
I can't tell you how to raise your children, how to blow your guy, or how to perfect your casserole. But I can, with great confidence, tell you that everything in your life is going to be okay. And more than okay, everything is going to be fucking amazing. You are going to have to work for it. You are going to have to fight for it. But you can and will have the life you have always dreamed of.